


one and only

by superbiavaritia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superbiavaritia/pseuds/superbiavaritia
Summary: one step forward, two steps back.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 65





	one and only

**Author's Note:**

> hi! here's a kagehina angst fic that does not follow the timeline. blep.

"Kageyama!"

"Oh? Sugawara-san!"

He ran up to Kageyama and gave him a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in a year!"

"..."

"Kageyama?"

"C-can't b-breathe-"

"Oh! Sorry!" Sugawara released Kageyama. "It's been a while since I've seen you; I missed you."

Kageyama smiled, for the first time in a while. "I miss you too, Sugawara-san."

"Are you free right now?"

"I was about to go to the superma--"

"Perfect! You can join me for lunch." Sugawara dragged him towards a small restaurant across the street.

"So, how are you?" Sugawara asked, leaning towards his highschool kouhai.

"I'm fine, Sugawara-san. Just really busy with university and training." He tried to smile. "How about you?" He knew where this was going and he would not succumb to his senpai.

"I'm okay. I'm currently waiting for the results of an application I submitted at a school near Karasuno." Sugawara sighs. "I've never seen or heard from you, Kageyama."

"I'm just really busy."

"I know you're bad at studying and need to work extra hard but you can always spare time to send a message to me or to any of us!"

"I just wanna improve myself, Sugawara-san." He says so quietly and Sugawara's hurt. This is not the Kageyama Tobio he met in Karasuno. This is not even the Kageyama Tobio that was called King of the Court in Kitagawa Daiichi. This is not his Kageyama Tobio.

"But we miss you and we're worried about you. Everyone's asking for you."

"Maybe next--"

"Hinata's worried about you."

  
Kageyama's rendered speechless. He has been doing his best to forget-- forget his loud voice, his small but powerful hands, stupid expressions, orange- scented shampoo, warm kisses-- forget he existed. The wall Kageyama built for months came crumbling down with just one name. 

"We're so worried about you, especially Hinata. But you're ignoring all of us!" Sugawara exclaims before taking a bite of his food. 

"I--" Kageyama sighs in defeat, "I can't see him yet, Sugawara-san."

"It's been a year, Kageyama."

"I know." Kageyama chuckles. "I bet eveyone thinks I’m stupid." He pushes his food away.

"You are not." Sugawara misses his Kageyama Tobio. The one whose eyes burn with the passion for volleyball, the one whose eyes has never shown fear or doubt. "Come back to us, Kageyama. We're your teammates-- friends, even."

The younger looks up and sees a small, quiet smile on his senpai-- the one that he trusted the most and that's all the assurance he needs; he nods.

"You'll try, right?"

He nods again.

"Oh, thank you!" Sugawara flops beside Kageyama and gives him a tight squeeze. Kageyama missed this-- the warmth of another person and a friend. He missed having another living being beside him.

Kageyama receives a text from Tanaka. "I'm outside your door. Why aren't you opening up?"

He smiles before sending a reply. "I just finished my classes, Senpai. But I'm already on my way."

“Hurry up! Noya-san's hungry already!”

It's been two weeks since he had lunch with Sugawara and it's been a week since everybody's slowly creeping into his life again. It started with Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Ennoshita cooking and eating dinner at his place, lunch with Yachi, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, and the celebration of Sugawara scoring the teaching job he was waiting for.

By the fourth week, Kageyama was ready to combust and break down again. Being with them reminded him of too many memories that he has been working so hard to forget. "You don't have to force yourself. I told Suga you'll need time, and everyone's just so excited to see you. I'll tell them to slow it down." He didn't know their former captain could see through him. He has been doing his best to hide his anxiousness whenever he was with them.

He's slowly getting used to having people around him again. He's also looking forward to eating dinner with the senpais tonight. 

There was suddenly a loud banging on his door, thinking it was Tanaka and Nishinoya. He was about to scream their heads off but when he opened the door to take a peek, he was surprised to see another senpai.

"Tobio-chan~" Oikawa says in a singy-songy voice that would usually irritate Kageyama. "Open up for your dear Senpai?"

And he does while gaping at Oikawa.

"Oh, Iwa-chan's coming too, okay?" His Senpai says coming in and flopping down before the table.

"W-Why are you--"

"To check on my favorite kouhai, of course." He smiles. "We're cooking dinner so take this instant noodles somewhere else." He takes the unopened noodles and tosses it to Kageyama.

"Oikawa-san?" Kageyama calls out as he stashes the cup noodles away. 

"Hmm?" His Senpai answers while mindlessly flipping through Kageyama's books on the table.

"Why are you here?"

Oikawa looks up at him. "Because I have not heard anything about you in a year after that incident. Then, Sugawara-san messaged me that he has finally seen and talked to you." He eyes Kageyama before continuing. "I know we have some issues between us, but I am your senpai and I am worried about you. Everyone's worried about you. Imagine my shock when Sugawara-san called me up asking if I had seen you or heard anything from you when I was halfway across the world. The two of us haven't had any contact since you started university and yet, he still called me up frantically looking for you."

Kageyama's eyes and nose are stinging and Oikawa stands up to walk towards him. "Tobio, you are allowed to be weak. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to be hurt. You are allowed to be human." Oikawa pries Kageyama's hands away from his face. "Tobio-chan, there are things in life that you have to hold on and let go of. You have found amazing friends who will always be there for you in and out of the court; they're what you hold close. But you have to let go of the things that are hurting you."

Kageyama's tears fall and Oikawa puts his arms around him. Kageyama returns the hug before sobbing in Oikawa's arms. He has completely forgotten about his friends and yet, they were always there for him-- waiting, supporting, watching, loving from afar. 

Kageyama thinks he can finally take a step forward.

  
It's all festive already when Kageyama arrives at Daichi's place. They were celebrating Daichi's birthday and engagement to Michimiya. Daichi, Azumane, and Tanaka are already grilling the meat outside. He walks inside and sees his senpais talking and laughing like before. He feels his chest tighten at the memories his mind conjures, but he shakes his head and smiles.

  
Kageyama is tastefully buzzed. He, Tanaka and Nishinoya have been trying to get Sugawara drunk but all the senpai does is to walk straight and smile at them even though he might have drank more than they have.

"Oi!" He hears a familiar voice scream. He blames the alcohol. It's impossible.

"Shoyo!" Nishinoya screams and points somewhere outside. Kageyama follows his senpai's finger to see orange hair. He inhales and smells his shampoo meters away. His eyesight clears and his breath is caught up in his throat. 

It was a mess. Nishinoya and Tanaka was tackling and screaming at Hinata. Yamaguchi and Yachi were singing old songs. Daichi, Sugawara, and Kiyoko were already preparing more food for Hinata and everyone. Kageyama crawled to the corner of the room, hiding bseide Ennoshita who was watching everyone with amusement. 

"You okay?" Ennoshita asks Kageyama.

Kageyama hummed before opening another can of beer and drinking. 

He sees a grinning Hinata pull an unfamiliar guy beside him. "Everyone, this is Miya Atsumu, my boyfrie--"

Hinata is cut off by Kageyama running towards the direction of the bathroom. 

Ennoshita walks towards Miya and Hinata, "I think he had too much to drink." He reaches a hand out to Miya. "I'm Ennoshita, nice to meet you." 

"He's been there for an hour." Yachi nudges Yamaguchi. 

"You know how he can be, Yachi-san." Yamaguchi whispers and Hinata hears them. He knew Kageyama could hold his alcohol pretty well.

"I'll check up on him." Sugawara walks to the bathroom. "Open up."

"I'm kind of busy, Sugawara-san." 

"Kageyama Tobio."

The younger opens up the door because Sugawara never calls him like that. Sugawara the mess Kageyama became-- his eyes were puffy and he was sniffling non-stop. 

Sugawara wraps an arm around him. "Pull yourself together. He's Hinata Shoyo, your former team mate."

"He's Hinata Shoyo, my ex."

Sugawara sighs. "Yes, he's also your ex. But focusing on him being your ex isn't going to help you let go of the pain you have been holding onto so tightly."

Kageyama burries his head into Sugawara's shoulder. 

"He wants you two to be normal."

"We can never be normal."

"You can try."

"I don't want to."

"If it makes you feel better, Atsumu and I dated a while back."

"What?" He looked up too quickly and his head started spinning.

"He was the guy I dated after learning Daichi and Michimiya started dating. We hit it right off. I thought he was the one, but as you know, shit happens." Sugawara smiles. 

  
"Hey." Hinata calls out. He found Kageyama sitting on the porch, drinking the tea Sugawara brewed for him.

"Oh, hey." Kageyama finally smiles. He breathes in the cold night air and gets a whiff of his shampoo and his chest tightens again.

"How are you?"

"Headache. I think I drank too much." 

"No, no. How are you, really? We haven't seen you in so long."

"I'm fine." He says so quietly. "University and training's taking up too much of my time. You?" He says the latter too thoughtful. He wants to throw up at the fake curiousity. 

"I'm fine. Atsumu-san and I are training too. Coach has been really strict on us. "

"How's he? Miya?"

"He's older than us, Kageyama." Hinata laughs a little.

"Miya Senpai, then. How is he?"

"He's nice. He's Responsible and talented."

Kageyama is quiet, overthinking the information Hinata had given him. "I was invited to the US for training."

"Congratulations! We have to cele--"

"I'm doing my best to change, Hinata. I’m doing my best to learn and improve myself." Kageyama holds the cup a little too tight. "I'm doing this for you. So, I have enough reason to convince you to come back because I love you too much to let you go just like that. I love you, Hinata. I still love you."

  
Minutes pass and Kageyama regrets saying it.

"I'm- I'm sor-"

"Yeah," Kageyama’s eyes are glassy but he smiles. "You love him."

"We can still be friends, right?"

"Yeah." All their shared memories run through his head so quickly. He hears his heart break into a million pieces over and over and his lungs run out of air. "Of course, we can."

Hinata smiles again. That smile that Kageyama fell head over heels for and it doesn't make the pain bearable.

He realizes that moving forward means losing and gaining something: losing a part of him to the past and gaining new smiles from Hinata. Right now, he's content at this moment where Hinata is smiling that smile at him and it feels like he is his again.


End file.
